


Honey, Honey

by pentagonism



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, Polyamory, Questioning, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, because why not, everyone except jeongin is a 97liner now, idk - Freeform, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 23:33:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17414666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pentagonism/pseuds/pentagonism
Summary: "I love you, Channie."It was the first time Woojin had said it out loud in a long time. He was scared of what people would say, not about him, but about Chan. The latter looked shocked, eyebrows nearly soaring off of his face as his cheeks heated up. He flashed a smile, one of his front teeth missing, and snuggled himself up into Woojin's chest."I love you too, Woojinnie."





	Honey, Honey

When they met at the top of the slide, they were both a whopping three years old. Woojin said he was the king of the playground, and he needed to know Chan's name before he could let him enter. Naturally, Chan told him.

 

"My name is Bang Chan. Who are you?" He stared at the other. They were around the same height, but Woojin had chubbier cheeks and a round little tummy.

 

"Well, Chan, I'm Woojin." He adjusted his flimsy crown made of flowers so that it was straight. "Do you wanna be my king? We can rule the kingdom together and be bestest friends!"

 

Without hesitation, Chan agreed and they ended up meeting there everyday with their moms. The first thing they did was make Chan a crown of his own, and from then on, they fell into the routine of any other friendship. Thankfully, their mothers got along pretty well, which meant eventual visits to the other's house for the years leading up to school. 

 

In that time, they learned that they both had the same favorite color (blue) and shared many interests. Chan had a dog that he loved with all his heart named Cucumber (Woojin was afraid of him at first), they both were obsessed with anime, and loved to listen to all kinds of music. They were always either at the park, or over at the other's house, but they were never apart. They grew to love each other almost as much as they loved their moms, thus Chan and Woojin became Channie and Woojinnie.

 

Woojin was also older than Chan by a whole six months. Woojin thought it meant he had more authority. He said he did, swore by it, but he cared too much for Chan to ever do anything the younger wouldn't like or want.

 

Plus, Woojin wasn't very confrontational. Even when he didn't want to, he always ended up saying yes to Chan. He thought he was too cute when he pouted and he couldn't stand to see him sad. His frown broke his heart. He wanted to protect Chan from everything and anything if it meant seeing him smile, but he was too timid to do any of that. He wouldn't even ask Chan's mom for things, he'd make the younger ask for him despite Mrs. Bang essentially being his second mom.

 

That being said, it was no surprise when he used Chan as a shield when they walked into class on their first day of Kindergarten. Chan giggled as the taller of the two clung onto his shirt, waddling behind him slowly, because he thought Woojin was cute. He was tiny, his voice was mellower than the former's, and his eyes were big and full of curiosity. To top it all off, his cheeks were so chubby that when he smiled, they would hide his eyes and Chan couldn't help but squish them. As always, Woojin swatted his hands away and reprimanded him for the affectionate gesture as he hid his face in the back of his shirt. He liked it, but he'd never admit it. Not in front of his classmates, at least. 

 

The proof was in the moments they would spend back on the top of that slide,  _ their slide _ , putting flowers in the each other's hair as they giggled at nothing in particular. It was familiar; it was in those moments that everything felt right and safe.

 

"One day, we should get married." Chan would say, failing to tie the stem of a flower into a ring around the older's finger. Pink dusted his cheeks just enough for it to be noticeable.

 

"We can't, Channie," Woojin would say, disappointment overtaking his demeanor. "You know that." He would offer a sad smile, brows knitting together.

 

"I know." Chan would hold back tears and pretend the ache in his chest was due to allergies.

 

The conversation was the same every time they played after school: Chan always setting himself up for the blow he knew would come and a sad silence washing over the two as they fashioned makeshift crowns out of weeds. It was for this reason that he dreaded the conversation they had with his mom a few months prior.

 

✿✿✿

 

_ "Me and Woojinnie are gonna get married when we grow up," He ran up to his mom, Woojin's hand in his own as he showed her the drawing they made. It was the two of them, all grown up, holding a little boy and a little girl's hand. They were standing in front of a yellow house, splotches of pinks and greens forming a beautiful flower garden around it. "And we're gonna have kids and-" _

 

_ "Chan! You can't say things like that! Do you have any idea what others will think? Boys can't get married! " She snatched the drawing out of his tiny hands, folded it,and shoved it into her purse before Chan had a chance to react. His precious drawing. Their drawing.  _

 

_ "But why? You said people get married when they love each other. Well, I love Woojinnie!" Chan pouted, arms folded across his chest angrily.  _

 

_ "Yeah!" Woojin added, wrapping his arms around the younger.  _

 

_ Chan's mother sighed and ran a hand through her thick brown hair. "It is all that should matter," She cupped her hands around her son's face, offering a sad smile. "But not everyone thinks that, Channie. Boys can't marry each other and neither can girls. Don't go around saying anything like that, okay? I know it's not fair, pumpkin, but it's for your own good." _

 

_ Chan and Woojin apologized, hanging their heads. His mother told them to never apologize for something like that _ .

 

✿✿✿

 

A year later and they were still stuck together like the Play-Doh Chan shoved in his ear once that had them stuck in the ER for a few hours. Woojin, while worried, told him he was a big dummy for not being careful. He made sure to keep a closer eye on the younger during play time and steered him away from anything posing a threat. This went on until they turned six because they were big boys now. They finished the rest of Kindergarten and first grade was a new obstacle.

 

Chan sits across from Woojin, separated only by a few feet of wood, but it feels far to him. It was uncomfortable at first, having to sit with two strangers, but the boy beside him ended up being really funny. His name was Changbin and he had a best friend named Hyunjin that sat there too. Changbin and Hyunjin were fun to have around and they were apparently in the same class during Kindergarten. They reminded Chan of himself and Woojinnie. 

 

Chan spent most of his time whispering to the pair and giggling while Mr. Lee, Seokmin's dad as well as their teacher, scolded them. Woojin, unlike Chan, was a very good student. He always paid attention to his work, never misbehaved, and kept quiet most of the time. He never had to go to timeout like the other boys. Chan admired how good the older was.

  
  


✿✿✿

  
  


They were a whole two months into school when Chan started missing his conversations with Woojin during school. In Kindergarten, they would play all the time, but now Woojin seemed to be reading all the time. Sure, they still met on the playground in their community, but he never wanted to stop talking to Woojinnie.

 

"You don't talk much in class." Chan had said while they sat on the swings. He played with the chains on either side of the seat, attempting to keep his eyes anywhere other than on the other boy while he talked.

 

"I gotta stay focused so I can be smart like mommy," Woojin grinned, looking up at the cloudy sky as he spoke. "But I'm happy that we still get to talk alone here. It's...nice." His eyes met the younger's and there was a hurricane of emotions swirling around in their bellies. _I love you_. It was an unspoken promise, but they knew without saying anything. _And_ _I don't know how to explain these feelings._

 

They spent the rest of the time playing with Chan's puppy. He licked their faces up and jumped up on their legs with his tiny paws. It was fun, but short lived. Their mothers called them over to head home for dinner and they left after a tight hug and a promise to come back the next day. 

 

As Chan lay in his bed that night, curled up in his blanket with his puppy, he thought of Woojin. Yeah, it was nice. 

  
  


✿✿✿

  
  


The next day, in class, they started a reading project. They had to draw the characters in their favorite book. Chan, naturally, chose Green Eggs and Ham, while Woojin chose Junie B. Jones. The former was good at drawing, well, as good as a first grader could possibly be, while the latter seemed to struggle. It was cute, to Chan, to see him struggle for once, eyebrows knit in concentration as he pouted. 

 

"Woojinnie, do you need help," He asked, smiling to himself as he watched him try to draw a girl. No answer. "Woojinnie?" Still nothing. Chan bottom lip jutted out sadly as he groaned and wriggled in his chair. He grabbed a blue marker and rolled it to his friend's side of the table to try to get his attention, only to fail. Out of options and desperate for his attention, Chan grabbed a red crayon out of the box and tossed it at Woojin.

 

"Ow! What the heck?" He whined, clutching his right eye. Chan's heart sunk.

 

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry, Woojinnie! I just wanted to talk to you because you never talk to me in class and I love talking to you!" Chan felt guilt wash over him as  _ his little Woojinnie _ started tearing up. He did what his mom did whenever he got hurt. He placed a soft kiss over his eyelid to make it all better. 

 

Woojin blushed and smiled to himself. He ignored Heonwoo's look of disgust, tongue sticking out as he pretended to vomit, because he was too happy that Chan was there in front of him. That Chan had  _ kissed _ him.

 

"I love you, Channie."

 

It was the first time Woojin said it out loud in a long time. He was scared of what people would say, not about him, but about Chan. The latter looked shocked, eyebrows nearly soaring off of his face as his cheeks heated up. He flashed a smile, one of his front teeth missing, and snuggled himself up into Woojin's chest. 

 

"I love you too, Woojinnie."

 

For the rest of the school year, Woojin couldn't seem to stop talking to Chan.

  
  


✿✿✿

 

Fifth grade rolled around and that meant they were old enough to ride the bus. It was a rather terrifying experience, walking to the stop and riding with a bus full of kids both younger and older than them. Chan was scared, so Woojin took it upon himself to hold his hand while they walked. He kept holding it even when they arrived, just in case. They waited and Chan seemed to be much less tense and he sniffled, because he was sick again, which his mom blamed on the germs from the playground. She might have been right, but him and Woojinnie were the kings of the playground and they couldn't abandon their kingdom. 

 

When the bus pulled up to the curb, they crinkled their noses at the exhaust pouring out. Putting on a brave face, Woojin lightly tugged Chan's hand and led them up the steps. When they got on the bus, most of the students continued their conversations normally, all except a few. Changbin and Hyunjin waved to them happily and told them to sit in the seat across from them they'd been saving. Heonwoo, waved to get their attention as they sat together, popping his head over the seat to talk.

 

"My brother told me about people like you," he turned to look at his friends, who laughed as he continued. "He said you're a couple of faggots."

 

Chan and Woojin looked at each other, confusion plastered on both of their faces.

 

"What does that mean?" Chan asked, turning to face Heonwoo. He didn't answer, instead throwing his head back in laughter shared with his friends. 

 

The two boys locked eyes again and shrugged it off. As Chan snuggled into his shoulder, their fingers still intertwined, Woojin thought he should ask his mom about it later.

 

✿✿✿

 

The rest of the day ran quite smoothly. They were lucky enough to be in the same class as most of the kids from the previous year. Seokmin, Changbin, Hyunjin, and Heonwoo, alongside some others were amongst the familiar faces. Everyone caught up with each other, talking about how they've been and what they did over the summer. It was, from the most part, just like first grade, except with a different teacher. 

 

Her name was Ms. Park. She was pretty, tall, and welcoming of everyone. Her smile was calming in a way they could not explain. She told them to introduce themselves to the class and the remainder of the day was spent on ice breaking activities. 

 

When the bell rang at 3pm, Chan and Woojin said goodbye to their new teacher before heading out the door. The older took Chan's hand as they walked to the front of the school, where the buses were. He hummed, rocking back and forth on his heels as they waited for the bus to pull up to the boarding station. 

 

"Woojinnie," Chan called, the former looking to him. "What do you think was so funny on the bus this morning?" He looked concerned, sadness glossing over his eyes as he spoke. 

 

"It was probably nothing. Don't worry, Channie." Woojin smiled reassuringly, trying his best not to let the worry pooling in his stomach show. 

 

They finally got on the bus, taking a seat farther away from Heonwoo this time by Woojin's choice. Changbin and Hyunjin sat next to them again, and Chan seemed happier now as he chatted with them. Woojin, however, grimaced as he looked out the window.  _ Faggot. _ The word felt poisonous.

 

"Is everything alright? You look so sad, Woojin." Changbin looked passed Chan with worry, Hyunjin adding a "Yeah!"

 

He waved them off, assuring them he was fine, but it was evident that his best friend wasn't as convinced as the other two. He decided against prying, instead wrapping Woojin in his arms for the rest of the bus ride. 

  
  


When Woojin and Chan walked home, it was silent. It was uncomfortable in the sense that normally, any other day, Chan would talk about God knows what and Woojin would smile or giggle at him. Chan was funny and that is what the other liked about him, so to see him so quiet and distant made his chest ache. 

 

"I'll come over later." That was all Chan said when he waved and they parted ways to go to their respective houses. Woojin trudged home in silence, hands in the pocket of his uniform pants. 

 

When he got home, his mom picked him up, planting kisses on his cheek. It made him feel a little better than before as he giggled in her arms.

 

"How was school, sweetheart?" She put her hands on his shoulders and raised her eyebrows in anticipation.

 

"It was," He paused, looking at his feet. "Good."

 

"Doesn't sound like it. What happened, baby?" Her smile faded, and Woojin felt guilty. He hated to see his mother upset because of how much she had to deal with all by herself. Every since his dad left, she always had to work late at night and do everything to take care of him by herself. 

 

"The kids on the bus called me and Channie..." He trailed off, trying to think of what to say. "Mom, what's a faggot?"

 

She cupped a hand over her mouth, letting out a pained breath. In vain, she tried to hold back the tears welling in her eyes as she struggled to find the words to explain what it meant. 

  
  


✿✿✿

  
  


As the rays of light poured into his room, tinted an early morning blue, Woojin grimaced. He rolled around, his messy hair flopping over his tired eyes as dread filled him. School was usually something to be anticipated, for learning new things brought a certain sense of wonder and excitement to the young boy, but today was different. It had to be for Chan's sake. 

 

He ran through his usual morning routine: straightening out his Dragonball bedspread, brushing his teeth, fixing his morning hair, and eating a bowl of corn flakes. It was all too quick for him and before he could properly sulk at his luck, he had to head over to pick up Chan.

 

The walk was brief, they only lived a few houses apart, but Woojin felt like it was the longest walk in his 7 year old life. 

 

"Hey, Woojinnie!" Chan was as chipper as ever when he stepped out of the door and said bye to Mrs. Bang. 

 

"Hey, Chan," he refrained from using his usual nickname. "Let's hurry up before we're late." He ruffled the younger’s hair playfully, offering the most convincing smile he could manage.

 

Woojin refrained from holding Chan's hand as they walked to and boarded the bus, despite his strong desire to do so. He didn't want him to hurt; he wanted to protect him from everything. The steps to their seat felt drawn out, a medium to stall the inevitable confrontation, and he felt as if he was going to pass out. He nearly tripped, and would have, had it not been for Chan's arm snaking around his waist to catch him. 

 

He wanted to cry. He wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry his eyes out, but that's not what big boys do. He knew the display meant that Heonwoo would call them the word again, calling  _ Channie _ the word again. Although he was prepared for it, the sting of it, the poison that seemed to come along with the two syllables was just as painful. 

 

"Nice going, faggots." Heonwoo laughed, even after all Woojin did to prevent it. 

  
  


✿✿✿

  
  


_ "Mom, what's a faggot?" Woojin looked up with wide worried eyes.  _

 

_ His mother clasped a hand around her mouth, the question like a punch to the gut. The salty tears welling in her eyes provided a dull sting that accompanied a much greater pain in her chest.  _

 

_ "Sweetie," her voice cracked in the most unflattering of ways, promoting her to clear her throat in an attempt to sound stronger than she was. "Who said that to you? When? Why?" _

 

_ "Me and Channie were just holding hands on the bus and someone said that made us faggots," the little  boy looked down at his fingers, playing with them as he pouted. "What does it mean, Mom? Please don't cry. I'm sorry."  _

 

_ "No, no, baby. Don't be sorry. It's just," she paused, taking a deep breath and guiding Woojin to the couch to sit. "It's just a really mean word that people use, people that don't know about love. Some people don't understand why you would love Chan, but those people are...huge jerks."  _

 

_ Woojin felt his heart drop. It was just as Mrs.Bang had told him before; it really wasn't fair. He wrapped his arms around his mom and cried.  _

  
  


✿✿✿

 

Woojin felt like he was being smothered. His head felt like it was going to explode as he closed his eyes and spoke. 

 

"Shut up!" He clenched his fists at his side as he yelled, Chan's eyes widening at the volume of his voice. Woojin never screams. 

 

"What did you say?" Heonwoo smirked with crossed arms, seemingly amused with the situation. 

 

"I said shut up! Don't ever talk to Channie like that! Say whatever you want to me, but leave him alone! You're just stupid! People like you are nothing but huge jerks!" 

 

Woojin took Chan's, no,  _ Channie's _ hand in his own proudly. Finally, he thought, finding comfort in the familiar feeling of the latter's warmth. 

 

Heonwoo actually did leave Chan alone for the rest of the year, which Woojin was grateful for. Consequently, however, Woojin had to deal with Heonwoo's posse ganging up on him. Things were scarier when he didn't have Chan there with him, but he endured it to make sure Channie was happy. 

  
  


✿✿✿

 

"No, it's G-R-A-T-I-T-U-D-E. C'mon, we've been over this, Chan!" Chan slumped down in his chair, jutting out his bottom lip when the older corrected him. He felt smaller than Woojin despite being much taller. 

 

"Woojinnie, this is hard! Can we take a break?" Chan batted his eyelashes for extra measure as he begged. It really was difficult. Fifth grade, Chan thought, was much harder than it needed to be, and a project like this was a little pointless for the end of the school year.

 

Letting out a sigh, Woojin relented, folding up the vocabulary sheet and tucking it nearly into his back pocket. He vaguely nodded toward the door to signal Chan to follow him outside to the park.

 

Although years had passed and their friendship wasn't nearly as affectionate as it had been before, Chan and Woojin were the same in a lot of ways. They would still spend most of their time together, laugh together, cry together, and most importantly meet up at the same playground, albeit without their moms now. Sure, the slide felt smaller and the swings hang lower, but they loved it nonetheless. 

 

"I'm sorry for being rude before," Woojin stared at his hands on the swing beside Chan's, feet dragging sadly on the floor. "I didn't mean it." Chan reached out to ruffle his hair and an angry blush crept onto the older's face.

 

"Nah, 's okay. I know you had a bad day because you suck at hiding your feelings. That or I just know you too well.  What's up? You know you can tell me anything." Now Woojin felt small, he stopped the tiny kicks to the floor that kept the swing moving and swallowed the lump in his throat. 

 

"Chan," he paused, pursing his lips and avoiding Chan's eyes as his own welled up with tears.

 

"I don't know. This project has just made me feel...bad. Parent’s day is always justㅡWhat's it like to have a dad?"  
  
"Oh. It's like," Chan paused, carefully considering his words as to not hurt Woojin. "Like if your mom split into two and one of the halves was a guy. I think your mom loves you enough for two people though, so it's okay. Plus, she's sweet and pretty. Dads aren't very pretty, you know."  
  
"Oh. Yeah. Okay." Woojin continued to sulk and the younger felt as if his attempts at sparing his feelings had failed. He must have said something wrong.  
  
Cucumber, thankfully, being the little champ he was, came to the rescue and hopped up to lick the salty tears away from Woojin's face. When he giggled and tried to stop the onslaught of wet kisses, Chan thought everything would be okay after all.   
  
Woojin seemed to be in better spirits afterward as he rubbed Cucumber's belly and quietly sang a song to himself. (Chan couldn't tell what the tune was, but he liked it because Woojin had a pretty voice. Woojin was just pretty.) They played around for a few more minutes before they put Cucumber back on his leash and returned to Chan's house.   
  
  
Once their supplies were splayed across the table again, they got back to work on their project. Woojin, being the ever so talented artist he is, was doing the coloring while Chan wrote. They grew tired of it though, opting them to switch jobs within a few moments.   
  
"You said dads are just like moms, right?" He inquired, eraser tapping softly against his bottom lip in thought.   
  
"Mhm. Just like 'em." Chan chirped, reassuring him with a smile and a pat on the back.  
  
Woojin let out a hum that signified he understood and began writing. He poked his tongue out and furrowed his eyebrows as he concentrated and Chan realized just how small the older was. He always acted stronger for them, but he knew there was so much that Woojin kept hidden for his sake. Chan thought he should start protecting Woojin too, especially now that he's getting taller. He didn't want anyone hurting his little Woojinnie.   
  
"Done!" Woojin announced, the sudden outburst earning a flinch from his work partner. The way his eyes shined was endearing; he looked so proud of himself.  
  
Chan looked at what Woojin wrote in admiration:  
  
_"Happy Parent’s Day, dad!!!! I'm thankful for all the love you give me. You always make sure I'm happy and you make the best food and clean up for me. I love you so much! Thank you for loving me more than anybody else! I wish I could do more to express my gratitude!"_  
  
Maybe Chan did say the right thing. 

 

✿✿✿   
  


_ Woojin’s mom cried and took him out for ice cream upon receiving a card addressed to “mom” and another one addressed to “dad” from her son. He fell asleep with a full belly and a smile on his face, wrapped in his mother’s arms. _

 

✿✿✿

  
  
  
  


The Spring Dance for the graduating middle schoolers was approaching rather quickly, but Woojin didn’t really care all that much. Chan, on the other hand, was pacing around Woojin’s room ranting about how he was going to ask someone. 

 

“I don’t see a problem.” Woojin sighed, rolling his eyes.

 

“How do you not? She’s the prettiest girl at school and I’m just me.” Chan whined, pouting.

 

“Well, for one, you won’t even tell me who she is,” Woojin suddenly found the ground interesting, studying it intently and busying himself with his shoelaces before continuing. “And you’re really handsome and nice so she’ll say yes for sure.” 

 

“Thanks, Woojinnie,” Chan flung himself toward Woojin to give him a hug. “You’re the best.” If Chan noticed how red his best friend’s face was, he didn’t mention it. They wiggle their way into bed after brushi ng their teeth and changing into pajamas,  their limbs tangling together as they dozed off.        

 

The next morning, Chan packed a Hershey’s bar and an old teddy bear along with his usual school supplies to give to his mystery girl. Woojin thought it was a bit silly and there was a weird tingly feeling in his chest, but he cheered on Chan no less. His ever elusive  _ Mystery Girl  _ (Woojin was  _ definitely _ not bitter about not knowing who she was. Not one bit.) seemed to make him pretty happy, so of course he would support Chan in his quest to steal her heart.

 

The thing about Chan is he cannot sit still when there’s something bugging him. He kept bouncing his leg and shifting in his seat all class making a really annoying high pitched noise when the chair leg dragged against the tile floor. Even Changbin, the king of purposefully annoying literally everyone except Hyunjin (sometimes even he was annoyed by him too) at any given time, was starting to get bothered.   

 

“Is he okay,” Changbin whispered to Woojin who was sitting to his left. “Because he kinda seems like he might explode at any second.” Right on queue, Chan’s chair scraped against the floor again, prompting a symphony of sighs to ring through Mr. Kwon’s class. 

 

“I’ll take care of it,” Woojin assured Changbin, and the whole class really. The buzzing in his chest really wasn’t helping him convince himself that everything was okay. Chan sat in front of him, one hand gripping his hair and another scribbling words onto the vocabulary sheet they were supposed to be working on.

 

When the lunch bell rang a few minutes later, they all filed out of the class in a neat line, got their food, and sat at their assigned table. Chan was still quiet and twitchy as they ate, resting his chin in his palm and absentmindedly picking at his food with his fork. Woojin didn’t like that he wasn’t eating, it was worrisome. 

 

“Channie.” He called, leaning forward to place a hand on his best friend’s shoulder where he sat across from him,

 

“Huh, what?” He stopped all his movements immediately. It was as if he were entranced before, so caught up in his mind that he was oblivious to how his body was reacting to whatever was going on in his mind. Woojin wasn’t sure if he should laugh because it was kind of cute, or worry because it was sort of sad that he was so worked up. He opted to rub calming circles into Chan’s back instead.

 

“Is everything alright? You’re all fidgety again and you’re not eating. Do you need anything?” Woojin tried to keep his voice as mellow and soothing as possible.

 

“Sorry, Woojinnie. It’s just,” Chan sighed, abandoning his fork and folding his hands in his lap. “I don’t know. I just get really really nervous sometimes? I mean, yeah everyone does, but like, it’s really bad and I just want to ask Jimin out and I’m stressed out because of it and this is so dumb, but I am completely freaking out, Woojinnie. I don’t know why I’m like this. I’m so sorry.” The words tumbled out of his mouth so rapidly as his breathing picked up, Woojin struggled to catch them all before they blended in with neighboring conversation. 

 

It was a lot to take in for Woojin, but his primary concern was stabilizing Chan, so he wrapped him in his arms and played with his hair the way Woojin knew he liked. He whispered reassuring promises of  _ everything will be okay _ and  _ I’ve got you _ and, thankfully, he managed to calm down a bit, his breathing slowing to a much more natural pace. 

 

“Hey,” Woojin needed to lighten the mood now before things got worse. He made a mental note to talk to him about this another time when the constant threat of Chan breaking down in front of their entire class wasn’t looming over their heads. “She’s the Mystery Girl, huh?” He was teasing Chan and if the blush that spread over the younger’s face meant anything, it was working quite well. 

 

“Shut up,” Chan’s entire body seemed to turn red at just the mention of her, which Woojin thought was endearing. “But, yeah. We were partners for the egg drop project last month and the rest is history, I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck as a shy smile formed on his face.

 

Jimin was, arguably, the smartest kid in the class and one of the prettiest too. She usually kept to herself aside from talking to a hand full of her friends, but from the few conversations Woojin had with her, she seemed nice enough. He definitely approved of Chan’s taste in girls.

 

“I’m sure she’ll say yes. You are the one and only Bang Chan after all. You’ve got the ladies wrapped around your finger,” He fixed Chan’s hair in the spot he had been clutching onto and held up a forkful of rice to his mouth. “Now eat and then walk on over to Jimin wearing your bravest face and sweep her off of her feet.”

 

Chan pouted for a few seconds before hesitantly opening his mouth and accepting the food with pink cheeks. Woojin returned his fork and let him eat on his own after, but kept a close eye on him nonetheless. After Chan ate what Woojin deemed an acceptable amount of food, he grabbed the chocolate and stuffie from his bag, taking a deep breath before getting up and walking toward Jimin’s table. He turned his head briefly to give Woojin a nervous look to which he replied with two thumbs up and a smile.

 

“Uh, hey,” he started, already mentally planning on transferring schools and moving to Busan to become on with the ocean because  _ wow, that was totally smooth _ . “I had a great time with you working on the project and I think you’re pretty great and pretty and stuff so....do you maybe wanna go to the dance together?”

 

Her friends started cooing and giggling, so Woojin couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation, but he assumed that she said yes if how red the tips of her ears were meant anything. Woojin was proud of Chan, but he still couldn’t shake the weird feeling he had. 

Once they were back to class, it was much more peaceful in the sense that Chan calmed down a lot more, but now it was Woojin that found himself distressed. He had always been better at keeping things to himself than Chan, so no one seemed to really notice what was going on. 

 

Until someone did. 

 

Yerin sat at the table next to Woojin’s and he’d like to think that they were pretty good friends. Besides Binnie, Hyunjin, and Channie, she was probably his closest friend. She had a beautiful smile and a personality to match. She was very pretty, in Woojin’s opinion.

 

“Hey, Woojinnie. You hangin’ in there?” The nickname that was only ever really used by Chan made him blush. Yerin was very sweet too. 

 

“Uh, I don’t really know. I just feel kind of weird? I can’t really explain it. Sorry.” He turned his gaze down to his lap, feeling embarrassed and kind of dumb for the non explanatory explanation. She pulled him in for a quick hug, muttering a soothing  _ it’ll be okay _ , which made his skin feel like it was on fire and he could hear his heart beating in his ears. When she pulled back, she was equally as red. 

 

“Do you wanna go to the dance together?” The words flew out of his mouth faster than he could process them, but it felt like the right thing to say. Part of him wanted to erase the words from existence, but he willed it down when he heard Yerin giggle.

 

“Sure!”

 

_ (Woojin could have sworn he heard Changbin say “Oh my God I’m going to die alone” next to him, but he paid it no mind because Yerin was absolutely glowing.) _

 

✿✿✿

 

Chan and Woojin were bouncing off the walls when they got home, both telling their moms about their dates excitedly. Naturally, this led to Mrs. Kim reaching out to Mrs. Bang and suggesting the four of them go shopping for nice clothes together the next day. Woojin couldn’t think of a better way to spend his Saturday than with the people he loved the most.

 

✿✿✿

 

After teaching each other how to dance and spending far too long perfecting their looks, Woojin and Chan were finally going to the dance. It was nerve wracking and exciting all at once when they met up with Jimin and Yerin. Woojin stared in awe at his date, sporting a beautifully vibrant purple dress. 

 

All the prep Woojin had endured proved to be fruitless as soon as the music started. He didn’t know where to put his hands because  _ woah, this is a girl and not Chan  _ he was dancing with. He was entirely too stiff and Yerin was way better at dancing than he could ever be. She was dazzling and the way the disco lights reflected off of her skin left him breathless. 

 

Chan seemed to be in more luck than him. The way he moved would have anyone convinced he was a dancer, movements fluid and graceful. It took entirely too much willpower to drag his gaze away from his best friend and back to his date.

 

“Oh, you’re back,” Yerin joked once Woojin turned his attention to her again. “Listen, I’m not completely oblivious here. I know what’s going on and just know that I’m rooting for you.” She winked at him and squeezed his shoulder fondly.

 

Woojin flapped his mouth open and closed, which made him seem like a fish, as he tried to find something to respond with. What  _ was _ going on? He was here with Yerin and sure, she was sugar, spice, and everything nice. Sure, she was gorgeous and funny and smart, but what what he really doing? Did he even like Yerin as more than a friend?

 

She seemed to notice his internal conflict, throwing her head back to laugh again. It was the type of laugh that was infectious and you just had to laugh along with her; it was comforting.

 

✿✿✿

  
  


“No, no stop. Push that end through the loop  _ then _ pull. Yeah, like that.” They’d been through the process dozens of times and Chan had finally figured out how to successfully tie a bowtie, thanks to Woojin. The latter, despite many  _ many _ failed attempts, stayed sweet and calm with Chan because it was really cute that he was putting this much effort in for a date.

 

¨Oh my God! Did I really do it?” Chan beamed at Woojin, hopeful and relieved that the struggle was finally over.

 

“Holy shit. Yeah, wait, just stay still for a sec,” Woojin adjusted the bowtie so that it was perfectly centered and smoothed out the wrinkles on Chan’s shirt. “Okay, there you go.” 

 

“How do I look? Everything okay,  _ Mom _ ?” Chan laughed as he spun around, allowing Woojin to take in his entire outfit. The dress pants, white button up, and red bowtie looked adorable on him. 

 

“You look so handsome, sweetie. My baby is growing up so fast,” He wiped at his imaginary tears, only half kidding. He remembered when Chan was adorably shorter than him with chubby cheeks and a slight obsession with the color blue. Now he towered over Woojin and his baby fat was replaced by handsome, chiseled features. They really were growing up so quickly. ¨Now hurry up before you’re late, you nerd.” He pinched his cheek and lightly pushed him toward the front door.

 

“Okay, okay. Wish me luck!” Woojin blew him a dramatic kiss and waved him off with a smile. 

 

He couldn't ignore the tight feeling in his chest as he watched Chan get into his date’s car. It was his first real date since the dance a few months ago, which didn't really bare any lasting relationships because Jimin was registered to go to some all-girls high school. They fell out of contact with each other after school got out and that was the end of that. 

 

Shortly after, Chan met a girl (Woojin didn’t even bother remembering her name) at the two week summer camp his mom had signed him up for, got her number, and asked her out on a date to the movies. Woojin thought Chan was too fickle when it came to who he liked, but supported him nonetheless. Whatever made him happy, made Woojin happy. It had always been that way.

 

Yet something about helping him get ready for the date and seeing him walk off to that girl made him feel all weird inside. Maybe he was just being too overprotective and overthinking it like he tends to do. Sighing, he sprawled himself out on the couch and watched TV until Chan got home.

 

Somewhere between  _ Naruto _ and  _ One Piece _ , he’d fallen asleep. He woke up to Chan groaning face first into a pillow.

 

“I take it the date didn’t go well,” Woojin sat up and pushed his hair out of his face. “What happened?” Chan rolled over onto his back, clutching the pillow to his chest. 

 

“She tried to kiss me.” 

 

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Woojin hated how uneasy the thought of someone kissing Chan made him. 

 

“I mean, yeah, it should be, but I totally freaked out and hid in the bathroom for half the movie. Ugh, the car ride was so awkward when her mom picked us up.”

 

Woojin wanted nothing more than to laugh because that was  _ such _ a Chan thing to do, but the younger looked distressed. His eyebrows were pinched together and he wore a deep scowl that made Woojin’s heartache.

 

“Hey, come here.” He puts his arms out and motions for Chan to come to him. With a whine, Chan walks over to cuddle with him.

  
  


✿✿✿

 

The first time Woojin thought he might not be like the rest of the boys he knew was only a week later. Changbin, Hyunjin, and Chan were at his house to hang out like they usually did. They were spread out across Woojin's room, bored out of their minds, when Hyunjin suggested they watch some music videos and try to learn the choreography. 

 

They started off with  _ Gee _ , which they all loved. The others were gushing over how pretty the members of SNSD were, and Woojin felt a bit left out. 

 

Yes, the girls were beautiful. It was objectively true, but Woojin thought they were pretty in the same way a sunset or a flower was. His friends seemed to think they were a different kind of attractive. 

 

It wasn’t until  _ Mirotic _ came up on the playlist that it all clicked in Woojin’s head.

 

✿✿✿

 

“Okay, so I have something I need to tell all of you. Like, something important or whatever,” Woojin bit the nail on his index finger that was already short enough to sting. “I think I’m maybe, sort of,” he huffed out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. “I’m gay.”

 

“What?” Chan’s voice was an octave higher than usual. Hyunjin and Changbin were literally rolling on the floor laughing and it made Woojin want to jump out of his window. 

 

“Stop laughing! It’s not funny!” Tears were starting to well up in his eyes and it felt like he had been punched in the gut. 

 

“No, no,” Changbin wiped at his own eyes and sat up. “It’s just that Chan sounded so shocked, but it was so  _ obvious _ to us. The way you acted with Yerin was so funny and you didn’t seem heartbroken at all when she dumped you two months ago.” 

 

Woojin wanted to correct him,  _ the break up was totally mutual and beneficial for us in the long run _ , but Hyunjin spoke up before he had the chance.

 

“You look at guys the way Chan looks at dogs. Plus, you two have done so much gay shit over the years it’s not even funny.” Hyunjin added, even though no one asked for his input. 

 

“On some real shit, I honestly haven’t really thought about my sexuality. Like, I don’t get why gender has to restrict who I think is attractive, you know?” Changbin confessed, actually serious for once and possibly even, dare Woojin say it, embarrassed. The shameless Seo Changbin actually seemed embarrassed and worried about what they would think. 

 

The only other input from Hyunjin was a simple  _ same _ . He has such a way with words. How eloquent. 

 

Chan awkwardly stared down at his lap and worried his teeth over his bottom lip for a moment before speaking up.

 

“Anyway, when are you going to get a boyfriend, hm?” Changbin was definitely back to being his usual, obnoxious self. 

 

Woojin glared at him before lunging to tackle him.

**Author's Note:**

> if you read this before i changed it to a skz fic don't say anything skjdnksjnkd


End file.
